A few months ago our relationship was finally stable and we were ready to move forward in the physical world.
Fred, my husband, wanted an earthbag house, some land and a self-sustainable farm. I wanted to have our own place and land, the time to be creative and to start my dream of a business to sell medicinal plants and herbs.
So basically our plans were very compatible, but both equally hard to obtain for two young people with kids and no money.
Everytime my husband pushed for his plans, like coming up with the idea of building our earthbag house the very next month on a cliff just down the road from my nans house, or wanting to buy some random piece of land and sticking a goat on it, I would get a very bad feeling in my third chakra (stomach). My intuition told me we weren't going with the flow, we were trying to push the universe in the direction we thought it should go because we needed it to go there. And for everything that we did this, it never worked out.
The universe has some rules: if you need something, you're not going to get it. The universe will keep that thing that you think you need as far from your grasp as possible, to teach you that you don't actually need it. Only when you let go of what it is you think you need, which means accepting that the thing in question will not make you any happier if you were to have it, and just live your life happily as it is, will abundance from the universe rain down on you. The more Fred and I needed a farm, a house, some land, more money or whatever, the less the opportunity for those things to be ours came around.
It was a conversation we had one day sitting down in the back room of my nans house, where we were presently staying, that opened the door of abundance to us.
Fred was pushing again, he had an unhealthy attachment to the idea of an earthbag house, he thought that once he had it, all would be well, he would finally be happy, everything would be ok. He was making unrealistic plans to build it too soon, in the wrong places and with no real resources. This made my third chakra feel quite uncomfortable, or in other words, I got a bad gut feeling.
My feminine intuition told me enough was enough, I had supported fred's dreams far too long in a quiet and passive way, it was time to tell him the truth.
I told him I didn't think any of his plans would work, nor should they, because they weren't right.
What he needed was to let go of his plans. Let go of the earthbag house. Let go of the idea that one more thing is going to make you happy. He needed to live in the moment, accept that he didn't have an earthbag house, and that he could still be happy.
It was hard for him, but he must've done it because not two hours later I was suddenly inspired to check out some farm websites online and happened upon farmlink, a website created to connect farmers trying to get rid of their businesses with wanna-be farmers with no money.
The first link that came up featured a picture of a smiling older woman with an organic lamb farm in Kelowna, BC. I'd heard of Kelowna, a friend of mine who'd hitchhiked across Canada a year earlier had mentioned it to me. I looked it up a bit more and was finally getting that feeling of right in my third chakra. It was in an area of BC that has organic farm markets all year round, grows and sells the largest supply of marijauna in Canada and is right next door to Nelson which features the amazing Shambala festival every August. The perfect place for us.
The smiling woman was apparently preparing to retire and wanted someone to take over her farm, she'd throw in everything, all 36 acres, the meatshop and butchery, her house, all worth over 6 million dollars, for FREE! And can you believe this woman actually had a hard time finding younger people interested in taking over the business, insane. Her logic was she'd rather give it to someone who would continue her legacy, then sell it someone who'd turn it into a golf course.
We contacted her, she got back to us, and so began our two months of conversing and planning. She would train Fred for one year, he already had experience as a butcher, and hopefully take over the next fall.
So on August 18th we left Newfoundland to travel across the entire country on the promise of an old woman that when we landed in Kelowna she'd come pick us up at the airport and drive us to our new farm. And she did. And it's been pretty darn good ever since.
All because, I believe, Fred and I finally let go of what we thought we needed and lived happily with what we already had, and just let things be, hoping for the best.
Of course things aren't all rainbows and butterflies, we have run into our share of troubles since we got here, which I will detail later, but we still have something going here that is amazing and that we never dreamed could come true for us.
I'm still practicing this idea of letting go, of not needing things, and on some subjects it's very difficult to do. But I hope I can share more stories in the future of ways that this idea has helped me, and maybe it can help you too.
