Caveman Regimen- Day 11

I can't believe it's only day 11, it feels like it's been longer then that, but I've been doing a lot lately too. So, just thought I'd make a quick update. A few days ago I was at a market and there was a man selling herbal remedies and things, one of which being a spray for acne. Without even thinking about it I sprayed the tester on my face, several moments later "oh, shit!" I didn't wash it off though, so still no water. I dunno, I don't think it really did anything anyway, but just figured I should be honest haha.
So a few days ago my skin started breaking out in whiteheads, lots and lots of whiteheads. On my forehead, tiny little whiteheads, maybe 5 or 6 of them, they stayed for a few days, then vanished. Same thing with the areas of my cheeks right next to my nose leading down to my mouth. Surprisingly none around my mouth at all. All of them tiny, all of then leaving within a day or two. I've never had pimples like this, these are the kinds of pimples I envied because mine were always so huge and red and took forever to come to a head. Most of them are gone now actually, sometimes I get a painful little bump that seems like it will turn into something, then it just disappears, or turns into a whitehead and is gone the next day, but even that is slowing down a lot. I kind of blame it on that spray actually.
Not much flakiness to speak of, but my skin can look quite greasy some days. There is minimal flaking around my eyebrows, that's it so far. My skin does look blotchy and not nearly as clear as it did the first few days, that being said my scars are going away and are much less noticeable, the blotchiness is mostly just random red-ish, freckly patches, hard to describe.
So far I'm loving this, my mini confidence crisis passed, and now I just feel free and naturally beautiful. My skin doesn't look that great right now, but in terms of acne, I'm proud of my skin for finally behaving how I always wished it did, with the small easy whiteheads. And I'm confident that even these will cease to form after the full 30 days. I'm pretty pumped and so glad I tried this.

Caveman Regimen- Day 5

Skin-wise, I'm doing great. No dry skin, except very light patches around my mouth that are gone by mid-day and reappear the next morning. Pimples I had starting this are greatly reduced, and never actually turned red. I got two new ones, teeny, tiny little things I hesitate to call pimples, they're skin coloured. My tone has been fantastic, you can still see my scars, but they blend better, they're no longer angry looking. Eye bags kind of suck, but I'm trying to increase my water intake to get rid of them.
Everything else-wise, terrible. My self-esteem is worse then I thought. My confidence depended a lot on my makeup apparently. I knew I was insecure, but I thought I'd dealt with it for the most part. Turns out I just covered it up with my lipstick, eyeshadow, and bronzer security blanket. Damn.
I'm kind of an insecure monster. People smile at me, I think they're laughing at me (maybe they are?). Me and my husband go out and someone looks at us, I assume they're wondering what he's doing with a plain old girl like me. Some people give me dirty looks, maybe they always did, but now I take it personally. Wow, that grumpy old man must think I look like such crap that he had to give me the stink eye.
I feel inferior to other women. I always have since a few years ago, long story there, but I basically have confidence like sh*t. It's always been true. Now it shows. Hard to hide it without concealor. I don't know what's wrong with me. I have crazy low self-esteem. I'm mad at everyone, I feel like every other woman is a stuck-up, superior, flirty threat to my happiness. I'm insane. Or maybe some other women really have it in for me, opinions?
In other words, I'm having a crisis. What to do about it? I saw a cross today and felt my lack of a connection to a group, a group that believes in the same things I do. First step: decide what I believe in.
I have no one to back me up. I feel all alone in this big world. Sure I've got my family, but I need a tribe, more then just me and one other guy, and some dependents whom I can only assume will follow in my beliefs (but they may not). Interesting since I read that acne is related to the seventh chakra, reputed to be about spirituality, connection to God, devotion to religion etc. A chakra I've always been hot and cold with.
Am I really that bad looking? Does every person in the grocery store really see my scars, my eyebags and sneer at me for it? If so, ladies, we need to stop this war. Stop picking up on my insecurities and blowing them out of proportion, insecurities you most likely have yourself, but when open for judgement on someone else you jump on it like you believe you're Aphrodite herself. Got things about yourself you don't like? Too bad, don't come projecting these insecurities onto me and using it in a twisted way to make yourself feel superior to what you know you yourself own beneath all that makeup and clothing. Stop flirting with guys you know are taken to make yourself feel superior, stop showing yourself off in your endless cravings, nay needs for reassurance of your attractiveness. Grow up and get over it, like I'm trying to do. Cause karmas a b*tch as we all know, and that baby's gonna hurt when it comes back around. Trust me.
Rant over. This is not just about skin guys, this regimen is deep. Prepare for deep down gook to come up from your spirit, mind, subconsious, whatever, as well as from your skin. Wow.

Caveman Regimen- Day 1

So these are some pics I took this morning-me, just me, and nothin but me. No makeup, and I only washed my face in the morning, no moisturiser or anything afterwards. Trust me though, I look better in the picture somehow then I do in real life. And the scars beside my mouth are hidden behind those weird smile lines that have never happened to me before this day, and I do have a pimple in that space below my lip where my chin gets started, hard to see though, and a fleshy one above my eyebrow. The flash also seems to have erased any sign of my undereye circles, but they are there I promise you. The second picture shows some of my hyper-pigmentation better. All in all, not too shabby, but this could be called a good day, it has been A LOT worse, and could potentially become that bad again at any time. I'll post more pics as things move along, probably around two weeks in, or sooner if anything dramatic happens.
So just to recap what I put in my earlier post, so far I experienced some tightness after the final wash in my usual dry areas such as around my nose and chin. But the tightness has actually mostly gone away as the day has progressed. So far so good.

 

 

 

 

Caveman Regimen

Ever heard of it? I hadn't until last week. It's a skincare regimen, or lack thereof. Basically you don't wash your face, apply cosmetics or skin care products for a full 30 days, but just let your skin do its own thing. I've been informed that two things are likely to happen during those 30 days: A dead skin face-mask, and small fleshy bumps. The idea behind this is that after those 30 days of embarrassing flaky, bumpy skin, the skin beneath will have the new found ability to renew and heal itself without the help of products. You peel away that dead skin face-mask at the end of the 30 days and voila! Perfect, smooth skin lies beneath. After all it takes 28 days for our skin to renew itself and get out of the habit of having products help it along. After those 30 days you can do whatever you like I guess, but if it works for you then I assume you continue on the regimen, but perhaps washing your face with plain old water or exfoliating with your fingers every now and then.

The logic behind this is that when you wash your face and use chemical or even all natural face products, you disrupt your skins natural acid mantle and moisture barrier. These two things are what your skin uses as a defence against common skin problems, especially acne. Makes sense doesn't it? Why would humans be plagued with skin that just doesn't quite cut it naturally, always prone to inflammation and open sores, and without a careful, difficult (not to mention expensive) care regimen your poor vulnerable skin just falls into chaos. I don't know if humans would have lasted this long if the very organ responsible for protecting pretty much every other organ was that dang needy and difficult.

One way I like to look at this is from the perspective of an alien observing the human race. Or if it’s easier, imagine cartoon cows instead of people. There's a herd of cows on Earth, they are constantly suffering from open, bleeding, pus-filled sores on their faces. They have absolutely no idea why this happens and the only known and "effective" treatments involve very harsh chemicals and synthetic substances being applied to the skin or taken internally, but even these are usually short-lived. You observe that the cows have an interesting habit of twice daily scrubbing, washing, rubbing, and picking at said facial skin (or cow-hide if you prefer), along with applying an array of products and cover-up that can and usually do contain very bad ingredients. Does it take a genius to figure it out?

I'm not at all saying this is the cause of all acne, although it's not helping in any situation. Teenagers get acne due to hormones, as do some adults with various illnesses and diseases. Some people get acne due to poor diet, as there is a proven correlation between sugar, insulin levels and acne. But what about us people who have breached the age of maturity, have excellent diets and are in good physical health with no conditions?

I belong to the latter category, and I still get acne.

I have extremely sensitive skin, as do most people I believe who have spent years rubbing at it, and my problem areas tend to be, well anywhere really. Most frequently my forehead, cheeks and around my mouth. So yeah, anywhere. I do notice if I eat a lot of sugar or fat I break out in specific areas, namely my mouth area and sides of my cheeks.

I also have some minimal hyper-pigmentation, mostly around my mouth.

My whole life I have been bombarded with the idea that I need to wash my skin, with cleanser, twice a day. And because all that washing can dry your skin out, you need to apply moisturiser afterwards. And if you want to get really fancy, you should also include a toner to balance the pH of your skin which you just messed up by washing it, exfoliate to remove dead skin that our own bodies are apparently too ill-evolved to get rid of by themselves, and some face masques for various other things. I have done most of these rituals since I was about 14 years old, right around when I also started to get acne. Don't get me wrong, I probably would've had some acne regardless due to all my raging teenage hormones, but it did actually get worse when I started using products, and when it continued past age 20, I got worried.

I've been on accutane twice, the doctor just gave it to me without many questions asked and no warnings besides "don't get pregnant on these" I had no idea how dangerous and not recommended this medication was, and now I've been on it twice. I was only 14 and 16 years old at the times I took it, a wee young lady who trusted my doctor and hardly went on the internet. My acne wasn't even that bad. After those two times my acne still came back eventually so my doctor just put me on a benzoyl peroxide product. This did work, but my acne would always come back whenever I missed a day or two and I was a little concerned about what it might be doing to my face considering it was bleaching my hand towels even after I washed my hands. After looking it up (I finally discovered the internet) I read a whole bunch of scary things like tumors and carcinogens and a whole bunch of great things like miracle acne cure. I also noted that it is no longer listed as safe under the FDA, but rather as safety is unknown. So the data is conflicting.

But I do know that I always felt stifled by my ridiculous morning and night routine of washing my face, applying toner, applying moisturiser, applying make-up if necessary and so on. I always felt like it didn't match who I am, an all-natural hippy type using expensive definitely not so natural products and using make-up to cover what I actually look like naturally. Not to mention the bad feelings I'd get when someone mentioned camping (oh no, how am I going to perform my rituals? How am I going to get my make-up on with no one seeing what I look like beforehand?) Or hitch-hiking, or WOOFing (all things I love to do by the way), or anything where I wouldn't have constant, private access to a full bathroom (to perform rituals I don't love to do at all). Very stifling indeed, and perhaps a tad neurotic as well. I want freedom from my rituals, freedom from bad feelings associated with my appearance, and freedom to just go the heck to bed when I'm tired instead of having to drag myself to bathroom first. Oh, and of course, freedom from acne.

It occured to me more then once that maybe all these things I'm doing to my skin are actually making it worse, but I had such a reinforced idea of washing, toning, moisturising that I didn't dare break free for fear of breaking out even more.

Somehow or other I happened upon a website where a woman talks about her experiences on the caveman regimen. I notice her acne is very similar to mine, and so is her lifestyle, health and eating habits. She experienced a lot of success on the caveman regimen.

I've also heard a lot of people who have had bad experiences with this, but I wonder what other factors are contributing there: poor health (emotionally or physically)? Poor diet? The list goes on. I believe this regimen is for people who have gotten their lives together, looked at the possibility of and/or have taken steps in healing internal illnesses/imbalances and improved their diets. This regimen is a kind of last resort for getting rid of stubborn acne after all these other things have been addressed.

If you like to wear makeup and can't go without it, this isn't for you. Even if you go the whole 30 days makeup free, when you do want to wear it again, you won't be able to properly remove it from your skin without disrupting the regimen, which can result in cosmetic acne.

I will be going makeup free, which is very difficult for me, for the first time since I was 15 years old. I know, long time. I've weaned myself out of it slowly over the past few days. First letting go of my under eye concealor, then not covering up my scars and finally allowing my active blemishes to breath fresh air. I recommend doing this part slowly so you don't remove all at once, be really insecure about it for the whole day, have one kind of bad experience, and blame it on the no makeup and chicken out of the whole deal. Be patient with it, let yourself and people around you get used to your new look. And be brave. I remember reading on the woman's blog (the woman who introduced me to the idea) that it's a catch 22; you have to expose your acne in order to get rid of it. I think it’s part of the process, and makes perfect sense, as with anything psychological; you must stop hiding something in order for it to come to the surface and be healed. It also teaches you to be less insecure about your appearance and to put less importance on appearing "perfect", which I believe could benefit all of western society at the moment. Anyway.

I'm pretty confident about this actually, just this morning I was mulling over whether I should actually do it or not, and it occurred to me that there was one time in my life since puberty when I had naturally good skin. And all I did at the time was washing my face with water and put on moisturiser, mostly out of laziness at the time. I still broke out sometimes in very small pimples, probably due to the moisturiser (which wasn't the best suited for my skin and was pretty cheap) but nothing like the inflamed ones I can get nowadays. I also just can't stand the thought of being dependent on products for the rest of my life (the cost adds up pretty quick, and what if I run out and the store is closed?!) or being trapped in the idea of having to do these unnatural things to my face or else. Deep down I know adult acne is not normal, and I shouldn't have it. This is the last resort for me as a (what feels like) lifelong acne sufferer, so it shall be done!

So, to recap, no makeup, no washing, just get up and go. I'm still going to shower, but managing this without getting my face wet is something I've done for years, so no problem there. Just face away from the showerhead and lean your head back, face pointing upwards, until the water just runs over your hair, and go no further. I'm also not going to freak out if a little bit of water gets on my face, but just not put it there on purpose.

This is Day 1 for me, so far so good. I washed my face this morning to get rid of the products I used last night, and that's it. My face feels a bit tight, it's already dry (bring on the dead skin face-mask!) and I'm preparing myself for a possible purging period (although this seems rare) and the fleshy bumps. Of course I had to be inspired to do this regimen two weeks before I attend a big conference, but what the heck, no time like the present. I'll try to post updates bi-weekly, or at least whenever anything new and notable happens. I'm even going to post pics.

And as for my feelings on the whole thing, I'm just gonna go with the flow and hope for the best.

Earthbag Houses, Organic Food and Self-Sustainability

Yes! All my favourite topics right now. With the land my partner and I now have (or are soon to have) we can finally bring to reality our dream of living in an earthbag house. Basically it's a house made entirely out of bags filled with dirt, like the stuff they use to stop water during a flood-I'm sure you've seen them. We would personally be finishing off the exterior of the walls (as well as doing the floor) with adobe, which is basically a mixture of earth, sand and/or clay and hay or manure. You can dry it out in the sun and buff it to perfection. It's also very clean despite what it's made of. A lot of buildings in the south are built from this stuff-picture mexican villas. I'm thinking dome archways and circular rooms.We were thinking of doing a sod roof as well.


courtesy of tinyhouselistings.com

I really think this type of dwelling would suit me best. I always felt out of sorts in a regular house-kind of like a cat living in a birds nest. It just ain't right. When I was younger I told one of my friends to kindly put me out of my misery if I ever ended up living in a normal house with a green grass yard and white picket fence. Now when she comes to visit I can't help but feel ashamed of my living situation-and pick up on her occasional wonderings about what I think of living in a 'normal' house. I mean don't get me wrong, the house we live in now is pretty run down and there's no sign of a white picket fence, but it's still too much for me. I'd be happier living in a hole under a root in the forest.

We've found a great location for the house on the farm-in a wooded lot right in the middle of the acreage. We hope to begin building it sometime next spring. In the meantime Fred is going to practice earthbag building by creating for me a 'witch hut' as we call it. A small room in the woods where I can have my cauldron-yes I said cauldron- for making various teas and other concoctions, and also meditate and study my plants.
*note I'm going to the Plant Spirit Medicine Conference in Vancouver in a couple weeks, check out their website and you'll know more of what I'm talking about when I say 'concoctions'. http://spiritplantmedicine.com/

The lamb farm is presently organic, and that is one thing that Sue, the woman who currently owns it, wants to remain the same. We have no issues with that, we have bought all organic food since we got here (never having had the option in NFLD) and never want to go back. Some people don't believe in organic, most of my extended family members being a part of this group, but I am avidly against GMO's and don't want any near me or my kids. I'm also glad to avoid all the extra hormones, antibiotics and pesticides, but GMO's are my main concern. I just don't trust them, plus I like to keep my lifestyle as old-fashioned and close to nature as possible.

Fred and I are planning to become as self-sustainable as we can on the farm. We know we can grow all our own produce, with exception to some more special items, but those will become something like a bi-annual treat. We are also going to be raising all our own livestock, starting with chickens. We're in the process of building a coop right now, and will have approximately 30 chickens. That's enough so that we can eat one chicken per week if we continually breed and hatch more throughout the year. It will also give us about 2 dozen eggs per week, most of which we plan on selling to the B&B next door or at the local farmers market. Over the next year or so we will be building a large greenhouse (insulated so it can take us through the winter) and purchasing various kinds of livestock. All the goodies that we produce will be organic with the added bonus of being free-range and grass-fed when it comes to the livestock.

We aren't connected to the town sewer system, we use well water and a very convenient septic system called a septic field, in which the sewage literally flows out into your backyard. Well, it flows underground in a special field constructed of layers of rocks and covered with dirt and grass, so you'd never know what it really was.

The only technology we use within our home is the fridge, stove, computer and lights. This usually costs us about $30 a month, totally reasonable, and if we had to, we'd use a root cellar and fire to store and cook food, and beeswax candles (there's some beehives in the backyard). The computer, well, I could give that up if I needed to.
We're also getting into canning so we can use as little fridge space as possible and help us get through the winter with some canned veggies. It's also very convenient if you're in a rush to have a pre-made canned meal that you know is healthy (unlike like store-bought pre-made meals) that you can just warm up and serve.

Right now we don't actually heat our house, we just pile on the long john's and sweaters.But when we live in the earthbag house we will have a wood stove for heat (and will still try to use it as little as possible).

That's the plan so far, and I feel really good about it. Like I said, I want to be as old-fashioned and close to nature as possible, because it makes me feel so much better and it just feels right. I think we're on our way here, finally!